Friday, March 25, 2011

the countdown...

It's on. The countdown has commenced:

T-minus twelve days and counting.....

That's how many days until the surgery. I'm sorry, I meant: THE SURGERY.

This week has been insane with so many obligations and demands both cancer and non-cancer related. And guess what--life goes on even after a cancer diagnosis. Who'd have thought?

My daughter had a huge project due for school. I still had bills to pay (big jerks ;)) And my brother and his wife went and had a baby. :)

Life does go on.

It's weird how time seems to be flying (it's been three weeks today since I received the phone call from the radiologist and it feels longer.) Despite that, it also seems to be crawling. I just want to fast-forward two weeks and have this surgical speed bump behind me. I feel like life's on pause and that's hugely frustrating.

I'm not renowned for my patience.

Whenever life offers you some life-altering, growth-inducing experience it sort of feels as though it should bring some instantaneous change; that you should just wake up feeling different. But I didn't. I still don't. Sometimes I have those moments, but mostly I'm caught in the current of a personal revolution.

Revolutions don't happen overnight, but try telling that to the impatient Holl.

Anyway, in the words of Lucille Ball, "Action is the antidote to despair." And, while I'm not at all despairing, I think keeping busy is key to dealing with my impatience. I'm hoping that's the case, because, despite years of trying, I remain unsuccessful in my endeavor to invent the aforesaid fast-forward button.

I guess I'll have to settle for developing patience instead. Boo. Hoo. ;)

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