Wednesday, March 23, 2011
a little blue
A little blue. That's what I am right now. Granted, it's currently nigh on 2:00 a.m., but I'm feeling a lot of things:
Oops. That last one was supposed to stay buried in the recesses of my brain. It's possible that last adjective came after I looked at a picture of David Gandy recently on another website (I've been kind enough to employ the old cut-n-paste here for your benefit. I told you this was a blog primarily for the ladies ;))
Kidding aside, I am feeling a little bit of the much-dreaded grieving process that I'm thinking is an inherent part of breast cancer, particularly a mastectomy--particularly a double mastectomy.
Two weeks from tomorrow, they'll be gone. Cagney and Lacy will be canceled forever. (Yes, those are the names of my breasts. I name everything. Everything.)
I gotta tell ya, I feel a little let down by my breasts these days. Despite that feeling, I really am heartbroken. They've been a part of me for over three decades and now with little fanfare and hardly a 'have a nice life, Holl!' they will be departing in a procedure for which I will not even be conscious. Where's the justice?
I will say, I named them well. I mean who were Cagney and Lacy if not hard-hitting, crime-solving detectives? I think my breasts did a fine job of detecting the teeny, weeny little cancer culprits that had the nerve to hide out in my body. I feel violated by that, by the way, but onward and....
So......I'm holding a funeral. Goodbye to the ladies who've served me well these many years. Goodbye to the breasts that grew with puberty, swelled with pregnancy, nursed my daughter and subsequently shrunk a half cup size as a result.
They've seen me through a lot and now I must bid them a fond and sad farewell.
I really will miss them :(
Posted by Hollie at 12:59 AM